The universe is merely using your organism to watch itself. Alan Watts
Organ-ism. Heh. Who got by with making up that word? Were they paid by the word or hourly? I’d like to make an NFT for the word organ, but rent the ism.
It’s been almost two years of Covid and everyone is losing their shit. Pandemic breakups are at an all-time high as the anxiety levels rise and rise. Hear that sound? It’s a friendship folding.
I already vented about my close friend of nine years sending me a breakup text on New Years Eve. There was not one mention of a problem is our relationship. It is hard to discuss resentments. We got together weekly for smiles, yoga, strength training, and hugs goodbye. Years of walks together and hangouts in what I considered a valued, healthy relationship. Well, I was very wrong, and some of the things she texted me are stuck in my brain and messing up my focus across the board. I decided to make a return sigil using some of the resonant words from her texts. Is that dramatic? Maybe, but let’s look at her words:
I never knew her to be this ugly. None of those things apply to me. I have a healer’s drive with perspective that has reached individuals in the over 2,000 yoga classes I’ve taught, and in talking with highly intelligent minds. This is my truth. I don’t like controversy or relational aggression, and prefer to be known for the quality of my work. That may sound overly positive or naive to someone who doesn’t have to bring in their own work, but my intention is to show respect. Anyway, the level of rage that crosses boundaries this hard might be better reserved for someone who stole your identity, peed on you, talked smack about your pets, or stabbed you. I suspect a bad reaction to medication.
Do I need this? I already struggle with feeling a part of this community due to the cool school headupass antics of 0.0000999999000001 of the community. That’s essentially 0 people, but they are heyday buddies who would rather mark their territory than give a decent welcoming. But this was a relationship I had put a lot of time into and nurtured. It hit me very hard and I can’t seem to shake the malaise. So I made a Return Sigil to release these toxic labels from my subconscious. I have a personalized system with sigil spelling, using swift focused energy and sealing with both logic and melody. Many use frenzied states of release, but I am already talking to the subconscious with a foot in the realm of the unconscious.
Next, I do the standard article and common word strikethrough:
Followed by the repeat letter reduction:
To come up with the remaining condensed sound symbols: narcistlgherfuyopdmg
Ironically, narcistlgherfuyopdmg, jumbles to “unhysterical god mfp” which shall be her new decretive nickname. Oh wait, maybe her shadow name? Hmm, I also see the words “supernormality,” “malnourished,” and “slaughter.” Slaughter gnomic?
The next step is to make a sigil out of those letters:
Separate that from the outer directional sigils. Separation is very important, because you are returning what has been sent. The cast is the return and not related to the contents of what has been sent. It is not some kind of mirror spell, there are no reflections; it is a re-turning of a continuous motion to the intender. Combining them suggests you are placing the sigil on them, but you are turning a container back to its creator. The outer directional sigils say “these words belong to _.”
Funny part is that “these words” becomes “the swords” when you strike the extra e. I went with the sword concept on the name sigil:
Now the tantrum returns to its generating lobe and has no power over me. I emailed my sigil with her contained content through the material world. It has entered into muscle memory.
If thoughts stray back to having any charge, I’ll do an emanation meditation using this image.
There you have it. Good luck with your relationships during this pandemic! It’s bringing out some new levels of deep aggression. Shadow work, where one examines their darkness, is an important practice for cognitive coherence–to let yourself honestly know–but shadow work can’t be done while blaming a persecutor. Blame-shifting has to be sorted so it doesn’t lead to a disorder. You can’t hide from either your inner monster or inner therapist.
Next sigil will focus on setting some new goals on track.